Why do things feel so.. off?

‘Take and eat,’ she says as she offers us an apple, a papaya, a fig, the fruitfulness of our own souls. ‘It is good.’
— Joanna Powell Colbert (from her description of The Gardener Card in the Gaian Tarot.)

Cicadas are singing again, here in the edge-of-wild suburban ecosystem where I live. The thunderstorms are wild. Breezes are more water than air. Heat lays in visible-to-the-eye curves over soft hills and valleys.

In the northern hemisphere, summer is nearing her mid-point.

The ferocious growth rush of spring and early summer is settling into a long, lazy wander toward full fruiting and harvest.

In response to nature’s signals, I can feel lulling energy pulling at me. Thoughts curl in lazy spirals. Doing has less meaning. Being centers itself in my awareness.

Everything about July and August in this part of the world urges me to


Long days of watery sunlight remind me that my surviving spring-planted ideas and projects are well-rooted by now and what they need from me is my steady attention.

My presence.

A bit of weeding to keep out stray doubts.

Deadheading random urges to steal their energy and start something new.

When you’re highly sensitive — when you are guided by body-wisdom — your body responds to nature’s signals, even if your mind is being guided by unconscious habits or external expectations.

In other words, our bodies know it’s time to ease into a post-planting pre-harvest lull, but our minds are still trying to maintain springtime levels of creative, productive output.


Feminine conditioning…patriarchal expectations…the illusion of being separate from the natural world…yeah…their effects are insidious and pervasive.

When this kind of conditioning in the mix, we end up quietly, confusedly at war with ourselves.

Worse yet, we can end up dropping into the “there must be something wrong with me” or “I must be doing it wrong” rabbit holes.


Some other signs that feminine conditioning – or the illusion of being separate from nature – is interfering with our alignment with seasonal rhythms can be…

  • feeling like everything is as hard as pushing a giant stone uphill,

  • feeling as if something is just “off” but you can’t see what it is,

  • unaccountably falling out of love with your work

  • feeling the urge to start something new when you know that would sabotage what you already have growing

  • feeling drained rather than energized by your work

  • feeling out of synch with your work

Be mindful. Any of these can, and will, appear out of nowhere. Even after years of untangling myself, I sometimes clamber to the surface of a fatigue fog and see myself pushing to be consistently, relentlessly productive throughout all seasons, all times of day.


I did say insidious.

The keys to disentanglement and making sustainable business and self nourishing choices are...

  • presence (of a deep, radical, nature-aligned sort)

  • persistence (of a dynamically flowing, nature-informed intensity sort)

  • patience (of a tempered by presence and self-awareness sort)

Keep in mind that pulling patriarchy and separation weeds out of our inner terrain can leave it full of possibility — and somewhat unrecognizable.

Working with a guide can help keep you focused and clear. Plus, it makes the journey more fun, less stoic.

I’m an experienced guide, and I’d love to help.

If you’re feeling any of the signs from the list above that feminine conditioning – or the illusion of being separate from nature – has you out of alignment, let’s have virtual tea and talk about things so we can find a way for you to recover your rhythm.