…without making men the enemy
Diving into the whole healing the sacred masculine idea again…thinking about patriarchy as the manifestation of the wounded sacred masculine… Here are some thoughts…
- We are wise and compassionate enough to recover the sacred feminine without needing to make the sacred masculine an enemy.
- Needing to see someone as an “enemy” or an “other” so we can step into our authentic power is a symptom of the warped dominance behavior that is patriarchy.
Before we go any further…
I’m going to tiptoe waaay out on a limb, here. Honoring with all my heart the degradation women live with at the hands of patriarchy, I believe that men have been soul-wounded by it, too. I also don’t believe that men are the only reason patriarchy continues to thrive.
Patriarchy is a habit of mind so well cultivated over millennia by men and women seeking various forms of dominance that it inhabits our unconscious now.
It’s become a nasty, self-perpetuating part of us, spawning an increasingly vicious antagonism between women and men. (Divide and conquer anyone?) It’s all too easy to slip into an “us” and “them” mindset with human qualities like strength and collaboration labeled as masculine or feminine and limited to just one gender being able to embody them.
We are making enemies of each other trying to find our way back to our balanced, authentic selves. That’s a lose-lose paradox we can’t keep feeding.
Women and men…
We’re almost all card-carrying members of the walking soul-wounded (yes, I know that’s a sweeping statement). Here’s how I see it. A few thousand years ago the sacred quality of Strength was perverted into its unbalanced shadow Domination, which we now call Patriarchy.
That’s the reality we’ve been living in…and it’s bloodied all our spirits. Feeling forced by tradition and acculturation to live a twisted version of our sacred selves can be soul-killing.
Here’s the thing, though. Patriarchal beliefs and behaviors are woven into who we believe we are. To question ourselves closely about those behaviors might mean coming up with some deeply uncomfortable answers.
Well folks, I lovingly suggest we all get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
We need to put our full focus and attention on dissolving the patriarchy paradigm without creating another soul-killing, divisive solution.
Remember, it’s time to honor the sacred feminine…to recover the sacred masculine…to welcome sacred oneness.
What to do?
I just can’t leave you here without offering something practical to “do.” (Of course if just “being” with these ideas feels more right, please do so!)
Domination (patriarchy) overtly shows up everywhere: advertising featuring trucks “conquering” natural terrain or women whose sole function is to obsess over white-enough laundry and air fresheners; organized religions functioning on systems of compliance and reward; politics and governance where rigid hierarchy and power-over behaviors flourish…
Start noticing it. Really bringing your full attention it, not just accepting it as “normal.” How does it make you feel? Where do you see yourself participating in it, consciously or unconsciously?
It also covertly shows up in our interior thoughts — the ways we treat ourselves and others in our daily lives. Thoughts like “who does she/he think she/he is to…” or “who do I think I am to…” are insidious ways we try to dominate and diminish.
Evaluating people’s weaknesses to see what kind of edge we have when dealing with them is a collaboration killer.
Assuming we have less right to contribute because we have less education or experience is a way of silencing ourselves (and others when we model that) and hoarding/denying our unique creativity.
Again, start noticing instances when you are trying to dominate yourself or someone else. Just bring your attention to it. Notice how you feel, how you might unconsciously perpetuate the mindset.
Be tender with yourself…
Don’t judge! (Once more with feeling.) Resist the urge to judge yourself or anyone else! That’s just another domination artifact. Remember, patriarchy is insidious and its BFF’s are silence and denial. Break the silence. Step out of denial. Be kind while you’re doing it. And, if it makes your heart sing, consider yourself warmly hugged along the way.
(revised from a blog posted on May 4, 2012)
Copyright © 2012 Tracie T. Nichols. All rights reserved.
Your call is heard, Tracie. Let’s dissolve patriarchy from within ourselves. And oh the space that will leave for new possibilities!
Oh yes Kay! The new possibilities are rising — let’s make space!
Yes, yes, yes ! Couldn’t agree more! Sacred partnership, Sacred union, that’s the alchemy I long for. <3
Very timely message given the current political environment. :^)
Several years back I participated in a sacred sweat lodge and my intention was set to leave judgement behind and begin healing what a lifetime of judging and being judged had wrought. This included the masculine aspect of the Divine, which I had rejected early in my journey once I had discovered the feminine aspect.
A friend remarked, why would you allow the wolf back among the fold? And I remarked, “balance”. I think forgiveness also plays a role in all of this.
I still struggle with this as years of habit are difficult to break, especially since so much of my family is so entrenched in this behavior, but I have made a lot of progress. Each day brings new opportunity to grow as each small break in the repressive chains of judgement occurs and allows a small new part of me to grow unrestricted.
Baby steps.
Thanks Tracie, a timely article with a healthy and wise perspective.
Flora, I think many of us struggle when trying to break habits that have been with us for years, or lifetimes. I love that you are consciously, actively working with this. It’s good to be walking with you! xoxo